“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” – Dale Carnegie
Poor social skills are probably the biggest reason for people failing in life or even losing their jobs. Being charming is a significant social skill. If you can master the art of winning people over, you can improve your odds of success in every area of life. Over eighty percent of success in your business and personal life will be determined by your ability to communicate effectively with others.
If you can learn to make people like you, your path to success will be more comfortable, faster, and more enjoyable – both for you and everyone you deal with. Charm is fundamentally social intelligence, and like the other primary forms of knowledge – mental, physical, and emotional – the more social intelligence you have, the better.
I believe that both emotional and social intelligence can be learned. For example, you can learn to be a warm, friendly, likeable, and charming individual. Here are five suggestions:
- Show acceptance
The greatest gift you can give other people is the attitude of unconditional positive regard. You can exude a lot of charm by letting other people know that. Although there may be points at which you disagree, your genuine opinion of them is positive. Smiling is the best way to show acceptance. The self-esteem of people rises when you smile with happiness at seeing them. They feel happy about themselves. This also makes them feel relevant and valuable.
- Show admiration
Whenever possible, authentically boost people by telling them that you admire them. Everyone likes a compliment. Make every effort to identify some characteristics or qualities that you genuinely admire in them – then tell them! Almost everyone has something that can be admired. Search for that quality. A sincere compliment is ten times more powerful than a false one.
- Show approval
Throughout life, all humans have a deep unconscious need for the recognition of their actions and accomplishments. People never grow tired of compliments as long as they are sincere. When somebody does something well or valuable, let them know that you noticed.
- Show appreciation
It is said that the biggest of all human needs is the need to be appreciated. When someone does something for you – big or small – say thank you. Saying thank you is more than merely uttering the words. It’s about making eye contact and showing sincere appreciation by your tone of voice.
- Give attention
This is probably an important area in which you can improve your charm. Your complete focus is the most valuable gift you can give to another person. When you pay close attention to other people, you make them feel more valuable and essential.
The more valuable and relevant you make them feel, the more they’ll like you. Energy flows where your attention goes.
Charming people continuously exhibit these characteristics. They are always positive, optimistic, cheerful, and, most importantly, interested in other people. These are desirable attributes.
People want to do business and have relationships with people they like and trust. If you decide to improve your social intelligence and skills by learning to be more charming, you will undoubtedly succeed faster.
People will like you, and that will make everything you do easier.
“Charisma is a fancy name given to the knack of giving people your full attention.” – Robert Brault